סילקי, תמותי.
I know what you're all wondering: "Have Tripod ever been to Japan?" But you're ignoring a much bigger question: "Why don't the Japanese have a space program?" Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts? Have you ever seen a Japanese astronaut? I'll tell you why you haven't seen one. I'll tell you why... Because you can't do, A Japanese tea ceremony, When you're an astronaut. It's those damn fat gloves. Fat gloves... And you can't do, You can't do... A Japanese tea ceremony, When you're in zero grav. 'Cause the tea goes everywhere. Tea goes everywhere... Japanese culture's always fascinated me, From their traditions to their modern way of life. But all their elegance and rich history, Doesn't sit well with my interest in NASA. Because you can't carry out, A ninja-style assassination, Dressed as an astronaut. It's the luminous fabrics. You're too visible. And they don't let you, Oo-ooh... Use a samurai sword, When you're an astronaut. You might puncture the suit. You might depressurise, Like a gremlin in a microwave. But it's those damn fat gloves, Fat gloves... They're the main problem. You can't nurture a Tamagotchi, Fat gloves... You can't make an origami swan. And have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle? Well, I've tried. They don't let you. Fucking NASA red tape. Yon: I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved, Scod: (Whispering) I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved... Yon: So I threw away my dreams of outer space. Scod: (Whispering) So I threw away my dreams of outer space... Yon and Gatesy: I had to find myself a whole new job, Scod: (Whispering) I had to find myself a whole new job... Yon and Gatesy: Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place. : (Whispering) Maybe in the sports... slow down! But you can't do, A Japanese tea ceremony, When you're a boxing champ. It's those damn fat gloves again! Fat gloves again! Those confounded puffy mitts, Oo-ooh... They're right in front of my face, Every night in bed. I'm haunted by fat gloves! You can't drink sakי, You can't do bukkake, Or ride a Kawazaki, When you're an astronaut. And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese telly, 'Cause you're not enough of a red... Herring...
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