it is unbelieveable. when i look at people my age i look and say- goddamin they're all grown up. like the crew i had as a girl in the scouts. fuck. i'm so old too.
i look and see so many people in the neverending race called life, trying to enjoy every minute they have, knowing that the time cannot be rewinded.
i hear about soldiers gettin wounded and killed, and winding back to my reality and realizing that people i know are out there in Gazza, fighting, in a year- many of my friends will be tight on uniforms, and in two years i'll join too.
how the hell did i get here? ! aren't i supposed to be the little cute blond girl who hides under the table because she is too shy to say hello to her parents' friend? the new girl in class, or the geekish girl who is always glad to help?
i find myself looking at the mirror wondering how much i have changed lately, and how much am i going to change in the continuing race...
i passed the first and second levels in the scouts. third is soon! i'm thrilled, but a bit in denyal, afraid to start thinking of it so i won't get crazily freaked out... however- it is coming soo close, and i need to get emotionally ready for this intence weekend. GOD !
dradle, good-bye-book, israeli picture, a diary or an identification card? what can describe me in the best way?
adn should i try and do this history test, or is it a lost cause?
too many questions, too many dreams, too many aspirations, too freaking fastt....
i love the place i am in today. i have my great friends and i love them, i have my crew and i love them, and they admire me, the class benith me respects me, and two people told me i'm stylish in my unique and good way(: (:
i have the chance too leave and have the most amazing experience of my life, of to experience an incredible summer camp. win-win, but i will definently be crushed if i won't pass. i'll be devistated and i'll cry. but the chance is worth every single tear.
i'll cut it now in an optimistic end, hoping to enjoy this coming weekend.
wish me luck, and hope i'll pass, and that i won't feel like ass.
i'll write again sometime soon, if i pass i'l kanoo in a lagoon!!
well, that's enough, without a dought,
if you miss me- give up a shout!! :P
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