A funny notion, I don't quite care for writing, not at the moment. At least.

I don't remember the last time I wrote here, was it during our service? I think it was after. Probably after the RG&Blues incident. 

 

Have been writing in a road journal for the past years, mainly. But I've stopped even that. Even though writing strengthen the bond between One and the others, it burns into all of us, too. 

 

* I don't like talking about other people behind their backs, but it's getting too loud to keep to myself, I deserve relief.

Usually, for situations like that, I'd post something on the Public Eye, but the person in question isn't using it. It'd be unfair. 

 

I do know MSII comes here, every once in a while. I don't expect it to be seen, I'm pretty sure I don't want it to, either.

It's just that I'm so god damn sick of keeping it to myself.

 

Choosing to run Oathbreaker Protocol may not have been the best option, but it's the only path we can see that doesn't include a major change to the system, or run the risk of switching color. Burning withreds is a much better alternative than falling into the blues again. Gonna take some time before I can find the green or grey again.

Every moment spent, we aren't being nice to one another, we're courteous. It's the same, almost - Except that it hurts when it shouldn't. 

 

I didn't choose it, I am happy for her, truly. But it doesn't change the fact that knowing it has a timestamp is hurting me, much more than it should. 

 

I probably should not have launched Poured Heart, after the entire incident with The Star of IO should've just kept to myself. But I was foolish enough to try again for the impossible. I thought it'd help with recovery, and for a moment there - it did. Although by the feel of it now, it only postponed some of those emotons. I haven't even thought of IO for almost half a year, the only reason it came back was MSII. 

 

Gods, I only wanted to throw a couple of lines I couldn't keep to myself...