Is there anyone here that feels the way I feel right now?

I believe that there is.
I want to believe that I'm headed someplace great.
I had an off day today. And I think because I didn't write for so long that this is why I'm writing in every place I can find.
For me this place was a way to get it all out.
Sometimes it helped me feel important, interested, talented.
But for this particular moment this is just a white page.
I think that smoking weed yesterday threw me off.
I got up and felt awful emotionally. And it happens a lot post smoking. Especially when I smoke with someone.
I get so self-aware and get picked on by my low self-esteem​ and I believe this is why I felt so bad today.
I wish I can find a true friend which I can count on to be there for me truly.
I feel that everyone today is so self involved. Yes I know it's ironic to say that right after my request to find someone to listen to my "problems".
I think that the reason I feel so lonely is because I feel a bit different from everyone else. I feel the need to anilyze everything and everyone and I can't find a true connection.
My mind is so full of stuff and I can't share it with anyone because I can't find the right person. Is that weird?