So it’s like to 12 PM here and I have school tomorrow and a huge nutrition exam and instead of sleeping I’m sitting here and writing this because I know that tomorrow it'll be a new day and I will totally forget about how I feel right now till the next time but I probably won’t write anything about it… AGAIN.

Anyway so I’m writing this in English cus it making this sound more dramatic than it is actually in Hebrew.

Anyway.. so I was thinking, what is the point of living…?

You are born, spending most of your time around your parents cus you are too young to be out there all alone, by yourself. Then you go to school… which is another 12 years of your life spent on studying… so you can build your future latter on. Then you spend around 5 years studying for your career, you get married, having kids, no time for your career so you ing university and going to work to support your family. You get older, your kids are leaving and then you die!
I know I’m just 16 but still… I’m just thinking what is going to happen to me latter.

I’m  not rich, smart or close to be pretty, I have nothing to use so I can move somewhere in life.

My first kiss (oh yeah … and the only I have ever had!!! )was a total fail and I was 7! It doesn’t even count !!!!  

I had maybe 3 bf’s in all my life and I never felt anything to anyone of them (oh and did I mention it was a long distance relationship. L O N G ! like other space! :S).

I never did something stupid with any guy. I don’t drink much and I got drunk just once in my life (on new years eve! With my parents -_-“).

I never talk in front of people cus I’m afraid of what they will think of me. People hate me without even trying to get to know me… i barley  have any friends and I never get what I want.

I dream about amazing life all the time… seeing it in my head hoping that something will happen.

Seeing myself being some kind hockey player, having a hot boyfriend and partying every weekend… yeah right T_T. Lets face it… I cant play hockey, hot people are deating hot people and nope I probably not able to party cus im shy and friendless.

I have so many negative things in me and sometimes I wish I was someone else.

Everyone always says to me how much I look like my aunt … and pfff, she is single and she is like 60 years old. Thank you for comparing me, I would like to be single just like her NOOOOOOT!!

I’m tired of myself, I’m tired of how thing are working out for me.. I’m not perfect but I think I deserve something… at least someone who would like me :/

I’m soooo tired of sitting and waiting for something to happen but I cant do anything either… it’s just not me.

I guess I’ll step aside and watch how everyone is growing and succeeding, while I am, still with my fantasies, not moving anywhere.