He deals with everything. Some secret to keep him recoverable, matters not how bad things might hurt. I know because I did it once.
But I feel lost. I feel lost now.
I shouldn't be left lonely.
One day it will happen. I won't take anything anymore, and I will do something too wrong. And tears won't help anything, neither would any apology.
I need warmth.
The days turn cold, and where I walk, I walk alone.
These are not the words that I need to hear, in fact those words make me feel worse.
I say them because it goes so strong inside that it must come out somehow, and I mean it.
I never hated the way I love. And I love.
I don't want the words.. Sometimes silence is best. Not because there is nothing to say, but because some things are too deep for words.
That's how I feel, but I am too fucked up in order to keep it, I am one of those who ruin those sentences and actually never cease from saying them.
I feel jubilated every single time we meet, when I hear his voice, smell his own unique smell, feel his touch however...
I want to cry, without a reason.
Or maybe I just fear.
If he ever leaves. I will forever remain scarred.
He knows I'm emotional. I always were.
I can't change that so easily. That's one thing he'll have to deal with.
At least he loves to hug me.
I feel hurt.
I'm sorry.
God damn this, I don't need explanations. If I kissed you now to have you supposedly realize you shouldn't have said that, I'd cry during, probably I would.
"So lost, and tearful all astray....."
Adi
P.S. I need someone to call. Naturally it'd be him. Can't think of anyone else. How sad is that? I'm obsessed.
I think I'm getting sick.
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