ישנתי אצלו בסופ"ש. שעה! שעה ורבע האמתי עד שהגעתי אליו (עם הGPS- מסתבר שמחשבים לא מבינים מה זה 'סגור לחרדים בלבד' אממ סליחה 'סגור בשבתות וחגים'). כוסעומו.

לא נורא, אני מאמינה שזה סימן טוב. גם לאלי לקח שנה להגיע, בפעם הראשונה שניסיתי להגיע אליו, והוא גם בפאקינג עיר שלי!, ואז היינו יחד 7 חודשים.

וגם לע' עצמו לקח הרבה זמן יחסית להגיע אליי בפעם הראשונה. חחחחח.

אז בקטנהה..

ואז הגעתי אליו, ופגשתי את כולם, הפעם גם את אבא שלו, והם מקסימים! איזה כיף! אכלנו ערב ביחד והיה ממש נחמד.

אחר כך היינו קצת בחדר, יצאנו, היו כמה הרפתקאות בדרך, חזרנו הבייתה, ונשארתי לישון

היה מדהים..

לא הלכנו all the way, though

We tried, but I was too scared (pregnancy not first-time enxiety lol) so we stopped. However even the smallest step brought us intimacy and that was a bless. The whole evening and morning afterwards was amazing, flowing easily, fun. I can't wait to have full sex with him. It would probably be great. I might actually fall inlove with him, can you believe??

The whole experience felt so familiar, not in the meaning of 'already known', but in the meaning it felt natural and known like it was my own house, my own place. Even hugging ע felt a bit like hugging my brother, in a good way, not deviantly.

I came home on Saturday morning, glowing with some sort of halo preserved only for experiences that go as a want them to. When it feels like success. 

Lucky me, lucky me he barely goes out. Lucky me I don't have to fake anything. Honestly, if I could meet him every day I would cut out. I wouldn't be able to cope with that.

That said, I can't wait to see him again. I have this little hope in my heart that he stays the next weekend, and maybe come to my house the weekend after, or two weeks after, since I want him to meet my brother, and if possible- his girlfriend.

I'm kinda anxious about him meeting my friends. I'm a little ashamed of them, and I know he wouldn't get along with them. They are so much older than him, like. 

So I don't know... I might arrange a date with Shmulik, if he's available. I could reach him lately, and I really don't know what's going on with him, and frankly, I think he might me hurt by me. Like, I'm changing my Facebook status, and my BFF doesn't even know I met anyone?!?!

But seriously, I couldn't reach him.

That said, there's another issue I'm not sure about. How do I tell ע about my eating disorder? Do I tell him? Do I leave it? I'm clueless. 

לצערי אני צריכה לסוע מחר ומחרתיים לבסיס- לא לזה שאני אוהבת, אלא לקריה, למחוז הגועל נפש. הו וול. מחר ומחרתיים. לפחות זה בשביל הטופס טיולים....