הייתי במסיבה בתל אביב. התחיל לי התקף חרדה ופרנויה. חזרתי הביתה. אמא שלי הייתה צריכה לבוא ברבע לארבע לפנות בוקר לאסוף אותי מהרכבת.
כתבתי את זה אחרי זה. זה באנגלית , מי שקשה לו לעקוב יש מילים מתחת לסרטון ( פשוט תלחצו על המלבן השחור או התמונה והסרטון יתחיל )
All the noise. Voices fade into the background. The only thing I can concentrate on is this bad bad thing. I feel like everything around me is pulling me into itself and it's stealing my identity and all I ever had. The room is getting smaller. Will it close on me? I grind my teeth as I realize I cannot break down here, people might see me, people are near. I tighten my fists, I'm screaming inside, can you not hear I am losing my mind? Finally I get up sweating and pale, the walk to my bedroom feels like hours, like days. Without hesitation I open the door, I gently close it and lock myself here we go. I turn on the dark and I fall to the floor, '' what the hell is wrong with me, I can't take no more. '' I'm dragged to my bed while I stare at the door and get under the blanket- curl up like a ball. I start screaming '' help me escape, what is this feeling that won't go away?! It's my fault isn't it?! It's all because of me, cause the future I had is lost far out at sea. Give me air, let me breath, why is this happening to me? Nothing is working, I try and I try, but I feel like a burden refusing to die. A burden on my family, my loved ones my friends. This feels eternal. Please go with your drugs, with your meds it's my head, this is going to hell, I don't deserve this and I especially don't deserve your help.
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